Why You Should Be Your Own Best Friend

I should probably start this post off by saying that I love my best friend and I’m a big advocator of embracing your friends and family. At the same time, I  think there’s something so comforting about knowing that you’re happy with your own company and there’s a certain sense of relief in knowing that you’re comfortable being alone.

As much as this post might make me sound like the weird girl from Mean Girls who just wanted to bake a cake made of rainbows and smiles (remember her?) I really do think it’s important to work on being your own best friend. I’m talking about being kinder to yourself, happy with your own company and confident in who you are as a person. That’s not difficult at all, right?

Here are 5 reasons why you should try and work on being your own best friend:



I’m aware that I sound like the biggest cliche on earth here, but if I’ve learned anything in the past few years it’s that life is unpredictable and it tends to metaphorically slap you in the face when you least expect it.
When all hell breaks loose it’s almost a natural inclination to look to someone else for help, comfort or guidance and the last thing you need when you’re feeling crappy is to feel even worse because you’re ‘alone.’ Again with the cliches, but you aren’t alone. You actually never are alone and never will be, that’s kind of the beauty of the whole ‘being your own best friend’ thing. Be the one to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on (and cry for a few hours straight if that’s what you feel like you need to do).

Embracing your own abilities and knowing that you’re able to solve things on your own gives you an incredible sense of independence and satisfaction because you’ll know that when push comes to shove, you can handle anything that comes at you and as long as you have yourself, you’ll pull through in the end.

    You’ll always have a brunch buddy. 

I feel like we’ve all been there. We want to go out and see a film, go shopping or go out somewhere but everyone is busy or unavailable so we just don’t end up going at all (solo Grey’s Anatomy marathons in my pyjamas usually end up happening instead). I’m guilty of thinking this way, like if I don’t have company then I don’t want to do anything but that’s kind of crazy when you think about it. Are we not able to just enjoy our own company? My god, do I find myself that annoying?!

Try treating yourself like your own best friend and wherever you want to go, whenever you want to go, whatever you want to do, go out and do it. You’ve got you for company and that’s really all you need.



Instant gratification.

Something that I really dislike about myself is how much I seem to thrive on other people’s praise, almost as if I can’t let myself just be happy with something (anything) that I’ve done until someone else confirms that I’ve done a good job, then I’ll believe it. How twisted is that.

Something amazing happens when you start encouraging and supporting yourself like a friend would though. You start to get into the habit of not looking to others for things like gratification or pats on the back and then the next time you do something amazing you can just be proud and relish in your achievements and success yourself, then share those achievements with others later if you choose to.

It’s not about withholding things from your family or friends and it’s not about having to do everything yourself, it’s more just learning to let yourself feel satisfied and fulfilled with what you’ve accomplished in your life, without needing an ‘A+’ or a ‘Wow you did a great job’ to make you feel good.

You’re all you’ve got. 

There’s you, for years and years (hopefully) and that’s it.

Really think about it, you’re stuck with your own company for the rest of your life, so enjoy that inner monologue of yours because it’ll be with you for the long haul. People talk a lot about making sure that you surround yourself with healthy relationships and positive people but the way I see it, the relationship you should be trying to improve the most is the one you have with yourself. It’s the one and only relationship you can’t avoid so I think that pretty much ranks it at the top of the list. I mean, it’d be pretty awkward to try and ignore yourself for the rest of your life.

The reality is that friends come and go, family can come and go, relationships can end just as quickly as they begin but through it all there’s still you. (See I told you I was going to start sounding like the weird girl from Mean Girls…). Seriously though, you’re literally going to be with you forever so we all might as well start trying to get comfortable with who we are and all that we have to offer.


It’s better for your mental health. 

I think a lot of us have a tendency to be quite negative and harsh on ourselves and so unfortunately it’s easy to end up in a toxic cycle of self-doubt and sometimes self-hatred that fuels that negativity. Think of all the belittling things you say about yourself in your head, would your best friend say those things to you? Probably not, and if they do then are they really that great of a ‘best’ friend?

Some of the most complementary and kindest things that have ever been said to me have come from my best friend. See now the fact that I never tend to say things like that to myself shows me straight away that I need to go easier on myself. For mental health especially, I think the kinder you are to yourself the easier it is to be kind and generous to others as well. So the next time you’re being harsh or dismissive of your abilities, have some compassion, pretend like you’re talking to your best friend and forgive yourself for any of your ‘mistakes’ or perceived flaws.


What do you think about being your own best friend?


158 comments so far.

158 responses to “Why You Should Be Your Own Best Friend”

  1. Yes, love this post! I've been trying so hard to put myself out there and love myself more. And while I do love to sulk at home by myself, the thought of going out shopping or watching a movie by myself is quite intimidating for me as I do feel anxious if I'm alone in a new place. So I'll definitely have to combat through that! x


  2. I totally agree with everything you've said! Being your own best friend is very important because you are stuck with yourself from the beginning to the end. I really think every relationship with others grows stronger if you first and foremost love yourself and are your own best friend.

    Nida | Caked To The Nines

  3. Your coat is beautiful! And I totally agree with your post. I've realized that as I've gotten older, the idea of self love is so important for my health and happiness. It's important to put value on yourself.

    Stephanie ● Sartorial Diner

    • Very true! Self love is one of those things that I feel like everyone preaches about, but when it comes to actually practicing it it's a different story for a lot of people. And thank you for the compliment on my coat! Zara always do the best coats.

  4. I really enjoyed reading your post! I think I became closer with myself after living alone and I have learned to enjoy my company more. "you're stuck with your own company for the rest of your life" this is so true! I had never thought of my relationship with myself in that way =o)


  5. I love this post. What a great topic to discuss. I am a big believer in that you are respomnsible for your own happiness, you can't reply on others to make you happy.

    I am trying to become a bit more independent myself and am trying to love my own company. I do do things on my own, however I find that i always ask for help, even when it is something I could do myself. So I am actively trying to stop myself from this bad habit. I want to be a more independent person and not be always relying on others for help.

    When it comes to hanging out on my own, i am okay with that. I am a homebody, and I am happy to just go out by myself or hang out at home. Although sometimes I lose the motivation to go out when no one else can come and i do end up staying home. Which is silly when you think about it. I think it too easy to feel lonely or bored when you're just by yourself. Which is why I really want to work on being happier with my own company.

    Thanks for posting this.

    Sarah's Abode -xx

    • Thank you so much Sarah! I find myself asking for help with things a lot as well and it's not until I'm left completely alone that I realise I can do most of those things myself. I think that's just sort of a habit that takes a while to get out of?

      I'm a huge homebody too and I also don't mind being alone at home, but when it comes to going out alone that's where it's a different story for me! I also really agree with you that it feels a lot easier to feel bored when you're just by yourself.

  6. Natalie says:

    I think that is definitely very true! At the end of the day, you spend the most time with yourself and it's crucial to be very comfortable with yourself.

    nat – dignifiable

  7. This post was such a great reminder! Being independent and always know that you have your own back is key, thank you! Xx


  8. fashion mews says:

    once again, you covered such an important subject! one of my favorite quotes is "you can't love anyone else before you love yourself" and i live by it. these are some amazing tips to learn to be your "best friend". i love that coat btw, the color really pops and you look beautiful!

    such a thoughtful post overall, thanks for sharing!

    xx Melis

    • That's a brilliant quote and I feel like I can relate to it as well, I'd hate to throw myself into a relationship if all I had was self-hatred, you know?

      I'm glad you like my coat too! 🙂

  9. Irene Thayer says:

    This is so inspiring! I love the post:)


  10. Dany Queen says:

    I really needed this post! I have a very weird schedule so I spend a lot of my free time alone. This has often deterred me from going out and doing things I want to do because I feel awkward bing alone. It's definitely something I'm working on though!
    xx Dany | The Queens Empire

    • It's really easy to feel awkward doing things alone isn't it? Whenever I do things just by myself I feel like I need to go around justifying to people that I actually do have friends…isn't that weird? haha

  11. JASCHEN says:

    Great read, very empowering. Glad I was able to run across your blog!


  12. What a great read! I've been going through a major transition in my life and had to drop a lot of people in my life. Right now I've been feeling a bit alone but I've been realizing a lot of things about myself at the same time. Btw, I also love your style in these!

    Stacey + thebambieyes.com

    • Thanks Stacey! I've been feeling a bit alone lately as well and that's sort of what made me want to write this post because I don't want to feel bad about having my own company.

  13. Edye Nicole says:

    Such a wise post! Love your outfit <3

    Edye | http://gracefulcoffee.wordpress.com

  14. Fionna says:

    you alwayssssss have to be your own bff. gotta make it werkkkk hahaha


  15. Such a great read and a great reminder that we're our best friends. It's important to love ourselves and who we are and also be comfortable in out own skin.

    Face to Curls | http://facetocurls.com

  16. Emily says:

    Hahaha @ your comment about being the weird girl. I don't think this is weird at all, but I understand how some people could think that! The idea of doing anything by yourself frightens a lot of people. I've never been like that (okay, maybe in high school). I love traveling by myself and eating by myself, or relaxing at a coffee shop alone. You can do so much growing on your own! I do love hanging out with all my friends and family, but I definitely consider myself my best friend. Great post! And hope you have a good weekend. 🙂

    -Emily http://www.coatandcoffee.com

    • Ah that makes me feel so much better! Seriously when I was writing this post all that came into my head was that scene in Mean Girls…

      I've never travelled on my own before but that's something I'd love to feel comfortable doing. I agree that you can grow so much and learn so much about yourself when you do things alone. Loved your feedback on this post as well, thank you! 🙂

  17. Yehohanaan says:

    I think you're right, in french we say "on est jamais mieux servi que par soi même" which means that if we want something, we have to do it by ourself to do it better !
    I usually have to spend time on my own to relax and chill, like once or twice a week, I don't really like to be with someone all the time 🙂
    (By the way, your bag is so cute!! Love Kate Spade :))


    • This is the first time I've heard that quote and I love it! I'm the same as you, I'm pretty introverted so although sometimes I may feel alone, a lot of the time I like to be myself to sort of recharge.

      So happy you like my bag as well, Kate Spade do such beautiful handbags! 🙂

  18. I thoroughly enjoyed this post, sweetie! Growing up as the only child came with drawbacks but many more advantages 🙂 I have definitely learnt how to be my own best friend and enjoy time alone. It's going to sound weird (well, maybe a little weird or maybe not strange at all) but I LOVE that alone time & cherish it so much. I am usually having the best time, either being productive or relaxing, and never feel bored or needing someone beside me when I am "in the zone" 🙂 Hope all this makes sense lol.
    I was nodding to every paragraph!! Fab post & love the outfit, sweets <3 The coat looks uber cozy!
    xox Nadia

    • Ah thank you so much Nadia, and it doesn't sound weird at all to me that you cherish time alone, I was just writing in another comment that for me I often have to spend time alone just to remain sane! I think that it's brilliant that you enjoy your own company so much, I aspire to be like that!

      PS, the coat is ridiculously cozy 😉

  19. Tiffany Legg says:

    I just love your style. You always managed to pull off a classic look perfectly and effortlessly x

    Tiffany Tales – A British Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

  20. Absolutely gorgeous – this is beautiful!! Hope you're well and having a lovely weekend hun! 🙂

    Layla xx


  21. Phoebe says:

    I really got a lot out of reading this post, especially the part about the most important relationship to develop is with yourself. I always tell people they have to be their own best cheerleader I just have to follow through with my own advice more often.
    I must admit I haven't gone out to brunch by myself for a long while and when I did I always felt a bit insecure and was dependent on my phone so I could feel and appear less alone (almost to prove to onlookers- see I have friends)
    Also, love the photos and you look stunning as always 🙂

    • My mum tells me that cheerleader thing as well! I think that's a great way to look at things and something that I'd like to start reminding myself, especially because I am my own worst critic.

      The same thing happens to me when I've gone to brunch alone, I always feel super awkward and spend half the time trying to entertain myself on my phone as well!

      Thank you so much for the positive feedback on my photography, love your comments Phoebe 🙂

  22. This was a great read! I always seem to look for other people's gratification too, it's definitely something I'm working on! X

    The Fashion Road.com
    Instagram @louisefrancescaa

  23. Beckie says:

    This is a really interesting read! I hate doing anything by myself and so would never go for food or to the cinema for example on my own even if it was something I really wanted to do. I really need to spend and enjoy more time alone and have the confidence to just go it alone sometimes!


  24. Claire W says:

    Amazing & inspiring post! I completely agree with you, I often don't feel like I've actually done a good job on something unless someone else gives me praise for it. And I need to push myself to do more things alone, we should always be trying to push ourselves a little bit out of our comfort zones 🙂

    Claire xx

  25. While I enjoy spending time on my own, even shopping and watching movies, I need to learn to encourage and support myself more. Awesome read, it's a nice reminder!


  26. Beautiful outfit and I completely agree, this is something I have worked a lot on over the last few years.


  27. Gemma Magpie says:

    Great post! I know it's not relevant to the post, but I LOVE your bag! It's so so cute xx

    Gemma ♥ | Miss Makeup Magpie

  28. Such a great post!
    I have been working on become more independent over the years and now I love just taking myself out for food or to the cinema and not having to rely on anybody else!

    Danielle xx

  29. Marta says:

    Lovely post, I agree with your point and your tips/reasons why are so true! Great job and, by the way, nice outfit 🙂

  30. Beba Göttel says:

    Great post doll. Love your outfit!

    Love Beba, http://www.bebagottel.com

  31. Serena Levy says:

    Amazing post! I couldn't agree more. It's sooo important! 🙂 x


  32. Loved the whole post, especially the part about instant gratification. It’s good to know from someone else you’ve done a good job – it lets you know where you could improve, but you’ll never be happy if you wait for someone else’s praise all your life. I completely agree with you. Hope you have a lovely stay the Crown in Melbourne, btw!


  33. Jessica Luxe says:

    Being happy with yourself should always come first otherwise you risk be defined by everyone else – this was a great reminder post, thank you <3


  34. I love this post! You should always love yourself before anything or anyone.. thats true happiness! 🙂

    Pinar xo


  35. Yiotou_La says:

    I love this post! I have been living on my own since I was 18 (I am now 36 haha) and I enjoy doing things on my own and also, I enjoy my own company. I always go shopping alone, I love my friends but I know that I will be distracted by them and not do the things I want to do. And loving and enjoying yourself is amazing, a great feeling 🙂


    • I think that's so great that you enjoy your own company! It's true that doing things with friends is fun but when you do things alone you can literally do whatever you want!

  36. Your posts always inspire me Julia. I love that you're encouraging such an independent mind set, in saying that though you seem like a lovely person to hang out with 🙂

  37. Shauna C says:

    Gorgeous coat, wow! So stunning, and great tips too. Make me smile! 🙂



  38. Katelyn Chef says:

    ha. I totally agree! Plus, the whole brunch buddy guarantee sounds pretty good!

  39. Sofiaa Dot says:

    So true that you are all you've got! PS: love the bag!

    xx SofiaaDot

  40. Jalisa G says:

    This is such a great post, girlie! First off, you look absolutely beautiful! I adore that camel coat and it looks so good paired with the rest of the black pieces; that purse is too cute! I also love the suggestions you've shared here or the reasons we should really love and accept ourselves. I feel this is something we all can relate to, I know I can. Thanks so much for sharing, beauty, and I hope you have a great week ahead!



  41. I love this post! I agree that you should be your own best friend. Whether we like it or not we're stuck with ourselves, so we should learn to love ourselves and be content 🙂 I love that camel coat too! I've been on the search for one!


  42. Gabrielle says:

    You've made some great points – I'm totally on board with the idea of being your own best friend; I've never really had a best friend, at least not since I was twelve/thirteen! So many benefits come with knowing yourself and not depending on the company of others 🙂


  43. This is such a great post and so inspiring. We get into the habit of relying on others for so much, when we really need to turn to ourselves and look inwards. Thanks for the reminder that I need to be a good friend to myself, which is really important!

    Whitney & Blaire
    Peaches In A Pod

  44. Ana Picazzo says:

    I always love your advice posts Julia! It's like I've always thought about it but never really reflected about how important is to be your own best friend. What you say it's completely true "you're all you've got". On a side note, I've obsessed with that camel coat and ankle boots of yours! You have such an elegant style! I can't wait for it to get chillier here and I can start wearing coats! xx

    Indie Suns | Bloglovin' | Instagram

  45. Nilla Austin says:

    I love this! There's that saying "you are your own worst enemy" and this is such a brighter and more positive twist to that. I think some of the most awful things about myself sometimes and it's definitely a tough habit to get out of. I much more harsh on myself than I am with others. Although I'm very comfortable being by myself, I'm still hard on myself when it comes to things like my appearance and goals I've set for myself. Thanks for this 🙂


    • So very true! Once you get into the habit of saying really negative things to yourself it's really tough to get out of that cycle and into the swing of a more positive one- that's something I'm trying to work on myself.

  46. ah you're so pretty. your eyebrows <3 and i love the coat so much. it looks comfy!

    i've been trying to accept myself because heck, i'm going to live in this body for like decades and no way i'm going to survive the whole shebang if i hate myself. and the first step is to be my own best friend. you made great points! to be enough yet strive to be a better person with yourself is the key. people have their own pace, so do you. it's so rewarding to finally be content with yourself.

    xx http://tanaditya.co.vu

    • I love what you wrote and I completely agree and can relate. Whenever I'm feeling really negative about myself I always just try to remind myself that I'm all I've got in the end, so all I can do is try to be better than I was yesterday and go from there, you know?

  47. Kelly says:

    This is such a gorgeous outfit! I'm in love with that coat, and I totally agree with everything you said! I have the most amazing friends, but sometimes I still just love taking time out by myself.

    Kelly // Velvet and Vibranium

    • Thanks so much Kelly, it's literally one of my most used coats!

      Love that you agreed with me on this post, it's kind of hard to explain without sounding like I'm encouraging people to ditch their friends but you put it perfectly 🙂

  48. damn this bag! ♥ and that coat! outfit goals!

    The White Print Blog
    CGrabowska's Instagram

  49. I think our post slightly matches each other lolol. But great post! You have to be your own bestfriend, boost your own self up when you're down because no matter what happens when everyone leaves, all you have is you 🙂 xx



  50. Alina Bostan says:

    It's not easy being kind to yourself but it's so important at the same time. At the end of the day if we're not accepting of ourselves then how can we expect other people to be. Great post and lovely photography x

    Beauty with charm

  51. Words cannot EXPRESS how much I adored this post. So much in fact I bookmarked it for the next little while so I can refer back to it, it's super empowering. Especially with summer coming to a close and spending so much time being surrounded by people all the time, I'm really trying to reflect and be okay with being alone. It's definitely daunting but so fulfilling!

    Excellent post, thank you!


    • Wow Marta your comment was so extraordinarily nice, thank you so so much! I always get a little nervous publishing these kinds of posts so feedback like that makes me so so happy 🙂

  52. Love this post. I definitely agree that you have to be your own best friend and it's not always easy but so important! I love being by myself and actually don't like depending on others too much, but of course I love my friends and my family and couldn't live without them! I'm definitely bit of a loner though haha 😉

    Thirteen Thoughts

  53. Comfycozyup says:

    Great post! I totally agree that you should be your own best friend.

  54. Mercy F says:

    Thanks to your post, now I don't feel bad having a brunch on my own 🙂 There are so many cafes here in Sydney that I want to eat in but still waiting for a company. So maybe it's about time to just go there and have a bite.


  55. What a gorgeous post! Really enjoyed reading it! Also, absolutely adore that camel coat!!



  56. Still loving this look but couldn't agree more – you are the only one who will truly take care of YOU, I've learnt a lot and seen that people are not always what they seem. They can be nice to you and your face but behind your back it's not the same.

    It's a shame that we are the way that we are now, I preferred it years ago but being your own best friend is great, at the end of the day, you keep your secrets, you live your life the way you want and no one can judge you! 🙂

    Layla xx


  57. What a lovely read. I agree with everything in this post. x


  58. lifeasaditi says:

    oooh definitely its so important to be your own best friend, or atleast an ally! most people are so harsh on themselves (including me! but i've been working on it) great post and you look like a million bucks! that coat is soooo beautiful *_*

    Aditi | https://lifeasaditi.wordpress.com

  59. Very wise words! As an only child, I'm more than happy to chill with myself, but sometimes being kind to myself is a little tougher. Thank you for this honest and interesting post!
    April xx


  60. Tia Katarina says:

    This is a brilliant post! I always think I need to be more independent and rely on myself more, you can't always count on other people!

    Tia | https://the10amblog.squarespace.com

  61. Really enjoyed reading your inspiring post! Completely agree with you, it is so important to be happy with your own company!


  62. I completely agree with everything you've written here. It's so important to develop yourself and your own identity to the point where you feel happy being by yourself and doing things independently. Ultimately you never know what life is going to throw at you and if you feel like you can't do certain things without the encouragement or praise or company of others then what are you going to do if you find yourself alone one day? I suppose for some people that's how they learn these lessons, by being thrown in the deep end and having to learn how to swim, but however the lesson comes to you it's so important to learn it and not take it for granted that people will always be there to prop you up and help you, because that's not always the case.


    • As someone who has been thrown into the deep end a few times I agree, it's not a nice feeling when you think you can't do things on your own and while I don't fancy being alone forever, it's nice to know I am actually capable of handling more than I think I can- you know?

  63. Phoebe says:

    Firstly, love your coat! Secondly, love this post. I think the relationship we have with ourself is the most important one . Just as you like people who are nice to you, you like yourself more when your nice to yourself – this could help us like our alone time more .

  64. Lucie says:

    I love this post! Its SO important to be your own best friend, as much as it is to have people around you. Im such a people person but being able to rely on yourself, especially in hard times is key to keeping healthy both physically and mentally. Also, Im absolutely LOVING your Kate Spade bag! Ive just bought the new 2017 planner and Ive been lusting after a similar bag for SO long!


    • As you said, in hard times that's when I really think it's important to be your own best friend and supporter.

      And thank you! I was looking for a black bag like that for the longest time and finally I found this Kate spade one. I've never seen her planners but I'd imagine they're gorgeous!

  65. Anonymous says:

    I love this post too! Makes me feel great just reading it. You're wonderful at expression and the photos are fabulous.

  66. Thank you for such wonderful inspiration. 🙂 It's so true that we often overlook the best companion we have: ourselves. Loving oneself opens us up to loving other people fully. I always enjoyed spending time by myself, but that's because I'm an introvert. ;p I never fully made the steps to "take myself out" though, and I want to start doing that more often. 🙂

    Style Tomes ||ST on IG

  67. I love this post! Great point, you're right.
    I love your coat.
    Would you like to follow each other?

  68. Samileen S says:

    Loved the style, composition of this post and of course your outfit. Such a well written and inspirational read.

    Sam || Beautydetour

  69. Chantalle says:

    Love this blog post so much! Every single point you made is 100% true and something that I really make a big conscience to do. For me, it wasn't until I went through a really rough patch this year that I really realised the benefits of being your own best friend and just being able to rely on yourself and be comfortable in your own company. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends to bits but sometimes being alone is so much better! Absolutely love your outfit too! x

    Chantalle | http://www.ceceandgrace.blogspot.com.au

    • I'm on the exact same page as you, I went through a really rough patch last year and becoming my own best friend definitely made the coping process a lot easier.

  70. We couldn't agree with you more, it can be challenge but so worth it in the end. That camel coat also looks lovely on you, great pictures!

    ISA Professional

  71. Olivia Meek says:

    Inspiring post and I love your outfit! x

  72. Thanks Olivia, I love that you enjoyed the post 🙂

  73. Anonymous says:

    Nice to read such an inspirational post!
    I hope and think it will be of help to a lot of girls! ��

  74. Alice Diner says:

    Couldn't agree more! I love my own company as well, nothing better than having me time x

  75. Absolutely spot on! Could not agree more with the content of this post, at the end of the day "you're all you've got" so we might as well embrace the wonderful aspects of ourselves. (Sidenote: That coat is stunning!)

    -M. King xxx

    It's a King Thing | http://www.itisakingthing.com

  76. I absolutely love this post, it so well written and truly inspiring. Also, the photos (and you, of course!) are stunning!

    Imogen | http://www.faux-silk.com/

  77. I love your writing and this post is 100%.


  78. Lisa says:

    omg HUN, this post!!! srsly pat yourself on the back, this was beautiful!! I'm going on a little self love journey myself and everything you've said totally validates everything. srsly good on you for writing a post like this 🙂 Lisa xx

    This Damsel Loves Blog

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