How To Stop Comparing Yourself

tips on beating comparisons

As a little disclaimer here, I just want to say that with pretty much every single ‘tips’ type of post that I publish, usually whatever I’ve chosen to write about directly pertains to something I’m trying to work on myself. So I’m writing about how to stop comparing yourself to others? Surprise surprise, I’m struggling with that right now. At the moment, when I look through my Instagram feed I feel deflated because I can’t seem to switch off that part of my brain that’s making me compare myself and my own situations to other people’s. I needed a healthy dose of reality and so with that, here are 3 ways to stop the comparison cycle:

Focus on what you’re thankful for. 

Call me crazy but when I need to stop any kind of pity party I’m throwing myself, I watch a show called “I Survived.” For anyone that doesn’t know, it’s basically a show filled with first-person accounts of how people survived some kind of deadly situation. If I’m comparing my blog content to someone else’s and feeling crappy, I watch that show and it’s like life is giving me a slap in the face. That person on “I Survived” got attacked by a serial killer and lived? Yeah, my content worries aren’t so worrying anymore and I’m all of a sudden very thankful for my current life, to the point where it feels ridiculous to not be overwhelmed with happiness about all the little things I take for granted. You may not be wired the same as me but I’d say that one of the fastest ways to stop comparing yourself is to expose yourself to content that makes you continuously appreciative of everything you have in life. You don’t like your nose? Some people are born without noses buddy.

Work toward your best self.

I’ve found that when I’m comparing myself a lot and feeling bad afterwards, it’s probably because subconsciously I’m seeing an aspect of someone else or someone else’s life that I’d like to have myself. So say you tend to heavily compare your job to another person’s, think really carefully about what it is about that other person’s job that’s different to your own. Is it that they get paid more? Maybe they have better hours, are in a more creative job or just seem to be happier at work than you? Rather than dwelling and just continuously feeling shitty, try spending your time working toward what it is that you’re envying/comparing because that’s what you’re after. If you’re going to spend a lot of time and energy doing comparisons, you may as well take that same time and energy and do something productive.

Remember that everyone’s doing it. 

One easy way to discourage yourself from doing constant comparisons is to realise and remember that we’re all doing it, we’re all humans just wasting our time comparing ourselves to other humans when we could be doing so many other things. When you’re struggling with something it’s easy to think that whatever you’re going through is singular to you, like no one else out there could possibly feel the same way but just remember, you’re not that unique. What I mean by that is that if you’re struggling with comparing yourself with another person for example, remember that the person in that photo is most probably looking to someone else and comparing themselves as well. It’s a small comfort, but at least we can all take some comfort in knowing that we’re not alone and I think if we remember that, it’s much easier to stop the cycle.

 
 

Do you struggle with comparing yourself to others?

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29 comments so far.

29 responses to “How To Stop Comparing Yourself”

  1. Cherie Koh says:

    I like that you're watching a show to make yourself aware of the bigger context here! We often get caught up in the smaller details of 'dammit why isn't my instagram following growing eventhough my pictures are awesome (lol) etc etc' that this is only a very TINY part of real life! That helps me put things into perspective. I find listening to bossa nova / classical musical helps calm me down whenever I get into a comparison rut, hahah.

    Cherie ✿ sinonym

    • Ah yep, well with me I tend to watch a show or movie to do a lot of things, there's a reason why I love film and television, haha. I think it's so cool that you listen to classical music to calm you down 🙂

  2. Fa nny says:

    As you said, I believe this is something which everyone struggle with! I'm better at it than I used to be, for sure, but your post is still very helpful to me, the show seems very interesting! Great post 🙂

    http://fannyanddailybeauty.com

  3. I also feel bad every time I compare myself with others and want to work towards my best self. I need to watch the show "I Survived".

    xo
    http://www.carinavardie.com

  4. Comparison is such a thief of joy, but unfortunately we all do it to some extent. Perhaps yes the best way to overcome it is not to dwell there. x

    franklyflawless.com

  5. Phoebe says:

    Firstly, I love the photo collage, I was quite mesmerised by it. Secondly, I think the comparison game is not much fun unless we (as you wrote) use it towards becoming your best self.

    • Thanks for the nice comment on my collage Phoebe, I was wondering how it would be received! It's definitely not much fun at all but if we can use it to better ourselves then I guess it's not so bad in the end, right?

  6. Keri H says:

    Yes! Couldn't agree more with this post <3 Social media makes it really hard not to compare yourself these day, but it's so important to remember these tips. Thanks for sharing!

    Enclothed Cognition

  7. Gemma Etc. says:

    I really wish I was better at not comparing myself, it's so hard! xx

    Gemma • Gemma Etc. ❤️

  8. Haha, I think you've hit the nail on the head with this one. We do all compare ourselves to others in one way or another, and it's a lot easier to do for our generation since half of our social life is based on seeing what everyone else is up to on the internet all day and night, but you're totally right – some people are born without noses and there are a million other more productive and fun things we could be doing with our time than worrying about what other people are doing.

    littlehenrylee.net

    • That's what I always try to remind myself. I usually feel so shitty about myself when I start comparing and then when I realise that there are people way worse off and I'm just worrying about nothing, I can feel even worse! Proof not to start comparing yourself in the first place I think.

  9. I struggle with this so much! Especially in the blogging world where it sometimes seems like numbers are everything. I think I'll try these tips to reduce that stress!

    -GG
    http://www.girlingamba.com

  10. I know this is very hard not to do, and for all the strides women have made it is still an issue and now we are more visual then ever and being bloggers and constantly having to see photos of yourself does not make it any easier. The struggle is real. In a first world kind of way.

    Allie of
    http://www.allienyc.com

  11. Gabrielle says:

    This is such a well-written post Julia! Being thankful is such an important step towards not comparing ourselves to others, and you're absolutely right about it being human nature – everyone does it to some extent, the trick is to find a way of minimise it I suppose! 🙂

    aglassofice.com
    x

  12. These are great tips. I think we all struggle with comparison from time to time. It's something I struggled with a lot when I was younger and gratitude and appreciating every moment is a big part of what made me stop comparing so much, and in turn that made me feel a whole lot happier about my own life/situations. Sometimes we can see another person's hi's but not always their lows and even just the struggle or the work it's taken them to get to a certain place or position that they are in. Just think, someone may even be comparing themselves to you and thinking some of the same things you are thinking about someone else. It's crazy when you think about it like that and that can also help a lot too. Anyway, keep doing what you're doing, you're doing great! 😀

    Samio x
    http://www.samio.co.uk/

    • That's very true and I loved what you were saying about how we don't really see how a person got to a certain place or what it took them to get there, I'd never really thought about it that way.

  13. Unknown says:

    Such beautiful writing. Awesome tips that I really needed to hear. Please show some love at my blog at http://bloggingwithbrina.weebly.com/

  14. Thank you for these little pieces of advice – I definitely get that I'm not alone on that one! It is so easy to compare ourselves with successful people or bloggers and ask ourselves why this or that is not following instead of focusing on how to work to reach out what we truly would like to do. I find taking a break sometimes is really helpful to keep in mind all of this is just a small portion of virtual life. Focus on real life helps me a lot too 🙂

    Margaux / http://www.bonjourwhite.com

    • Focusing on real life is a great thing to do, like sometimes I just need to switch off from all socials and just relax and be with the people around me you know?

  15. Bethany says:

    This was a perfectly fit post for me, as I always compare myself to others, haha! I think it's important to only focus on your own success and beating your own best scores. Everyone's fighting their own battle and everyone struggles in some way!

    Have an awesome day!
    xx Kris

    https://dreamingofpink.wordpress.com

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