Ever wondered about those people you meet who are just free spirits? They’re the carefree ones (or at least they seem carefree). They’re spontaneous, easy going and they go with the flow. I’ve always looked at these kinds of people and wondered if they were born like that…or did they evolve into that? Personally, I’d love to be more carefree but I tend to be so introspective (hello overthinking and anxiety) that my plans to be more spontaneous and free-spirited never really work out. So, how do you be more carefree…when you’re really not? For all the other anxious gals and guys out there (let’s form a club please?) here’s how I’m trying to become a little more carefree.
This may sound batshit crazy and it may make me sound batshit crazy, but there’s this certain thing I imagine that helps me to be more carefree. Okay, prepare yourself. So imagine if for each individual person, we all had like little internal tanks full of ‘spontaneity’ in our bodies. Imagine that by the end of each month, we all had to use up all of the spontaneity that’s in our tanks. So if you get to the end of the month and you’ve been staying in every night reading alone, you better go on a road trip with your friends asap or do something else on a whim before the month is up to use what’s in your spontaneity tank.
Again, I realise this may sound nuts to some people, especially if you don’t at all struggle with being carefree. But for those of us who are over thinkers and more of a cautious type, try the spontaneity tank thing. I find it encourages me to always be at least a little carefree, it stops me from being super anti-social for long periods of time and it’s a really easy way to continuously inject some spontaneity into your life each and every month.
Wow, I write such eloquent titles, don’t I? I could crown myself the Queen of overthinking but I’ve gotten so much better over the past year and specifically over the past few months. It’s all down to literally caring less about the small stuff, and having fewer ‘shits’ to give. I think it was Sarah Knight’s book (‘The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A F**k’) that first sparked this idea. She talked about how on any given day you only have so many shits to give. So if at 9am in the morning someone cuts you off in traffic and you go off the hinges, bad call. What happens later when you get home and your house is flooded? It would be so easy to slip into an instant meltdown. When something happens, rather than over-thinking it, decide whether or not the situation really requires that you give a shit about it. There’s a lot of times where I think something is so important at the time, and then an hour later I couldn’t care less. So to be more carefree when you’re naturally not wired that way, have a certain about of shits to give during any given day, and allocate them accordingly.
Everyone is always all, “say yes to more things.” Well, I tried that out and it didn’t work for me. I think you have to know when to say yes, and when to say no. Sometimes you’ll shy away from saying yes to something because you’re nervous or fearful, but other times a situation will come forward and you know that if you say yes, you’ll bloody hate every minute of it. While it’s awesome to try new things and push yourself out of your comfort zone, don’t just say yes to everything and anything. If you really know in your gut that you will hate yourself later if you say yes to something, say no in the first place, rather than backing out at the last minute. I find doing this means that when those times come up where I do want to do something but I’m too nervous, I’m more likely to take the plunge, be more carefree and say yes because I’ll associate all the other times I’ve done this with happiness, rather than dread.
Are you like me, or are you someone that’s naturally carefree?