Can You Give Advice When You Don’t Have Your Shit Sorted?

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When I first started this blog, well actually, before I started this blog, I was hesitant. I had topics I wanted to write about and ideas I wanted to express, but I worried about what people would think. Not even necessarily worrying about what family or friends would think, but rather the people reading my posts. Like anyone, I’ve got my own demons to battle and I just thought well damn, why the hell would anyone trust my advice if I don’t even have my own shit sorted? Isn’t that kind of a contradiction?

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So I started out this blog writing posts I felt safe about. Nail polish reviews, a couple beauty related things, a few roundup posts. Nothing that I thought would go down badly and nothing that I thought people could really judge me for. If you’re really committed, go right back to some of my first ever posts and you’ll see what I’m talking about and you can have a good laugh while you’re at it because those posts are cringe-central.

Then I don’t know what happened, I just hit a wall and thought oh what the hell, let’s delve into different territory, something a little less safe. I started writing more chatty posts. I wrote posts about my thoughts on particular topics and I just started opening up and sharing more and more of myself and my own opinions, even if people disagreed. If I had advice to give or things that I really wanted people to know, I’d put it in a post and click publish.

 

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That’s when I realised it, the word ‘advice’ is flawed. Or at least I think it’s flawed in my own mind (AKA I’m probably over analysing it).

In any situation it can be naturally intimidating to give advice, for fear of the backlash or people saying “well who are you to be giving ANY advice?.” The thing is, no one is perfect and really, no one is even anywhere near perfect (some people are just better at faking it or they’re in serious denial…). So if no one is perfect, why is it that we hesitate with sharing advice for that fear of judgement? We’re all just equally fumbling through life doing our best and learning things along the way, why hesitate to share that? What’s wrong with sharing that in the first place?

So I guess it’s all about how you see the word advice and about how you perceive it in general. It’s all about where you’re coming from.

When I give advice or do posts like that, it’s literally come from a place of vulnerability. It’s me recognizing all my flaws and where I’ve struggled and where I do still struggle, then I act on it and try to help others, so I write the post. Whereas I think a lot of people think that if you’re giving advice, you somehow think you’re superior in some way because you’re in a position to be giving advice? Well nope, that’s not how I see it. It’s like hey, I have plenty of problems and I can see where I’ve fallen in my own life and I don’t want other people to fall in those places as well, so I’ll give ‘advice’ and write a post about it. That’s how I deal, that’s how I feel like I’m making even an inch of difference.

I didn’t want other people to go through life feeling as if they don’t fit in (because that’s often how I feel), so I wrote my ‘advice’ post called ‘Everyone is weird: I swear.’

 
 

When I was going through a rough stage and feeling really bad about everything in general, I started writing my post ‘4 Things That Can Positively Change Your Life.’ It was a way for me to work out how I could make myself feel better without relying on anyone else, and it also made me feel better to write that post because I didn’t want other people to feel as bad as I did either.

When I realised fear was guiding a huge portion of my life, I wrote my ‘A Note on Letting Fear Decide Your Future’ post.

So I suppose what I’m saying is, whether you’re a blogger writing posts or just someone who’s been through your fair share of shit, don’t feel like you can’t give other people advice or some words of wisdom from what you’ve gone through out of fear of being judged. I used to view advice as something daunting, whether that was to give it or to take it. Now I see it more as just help, coming from someone with (hopefully) good intentions.

I’d love to see more people sharing their stories, helping other people and just giving whatever information they can in whatever form with the intention of helping others, even if it’s just to make someone not feel so alone.

 
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So here’s to advice, may we take it, may we give it and may we not be scared of it (lol me, I’m still working on being good at taking advice…my bad).

 

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