Where To Find Confidence When You Have None

[LAMCA, Los Angeles]

I should probably start this post off by saying that I’m still a huge work in progress when it comes to confidence, but if I wait till I’m completely confident to write this post then my god I’ll just never write it. For me personally I can’t stand it when people preach ‘rules’ at me, everyone is flawed and I actually enjoy it when people who struggle in areas give some tips and tricks with how they cope. I suppose when I’m struggling with something it’s easier for me to take advice from someone else who’s been or is going through it, rather than from someone who has never struggled or has everything sorted (do these people exist?).

So from a person who is still working on all of this herself, here are the things I’ve found that have worked best for me when it comes to improving confidence…


Figure out what makes you different. 

Everyone always says to embrace the things you like about yourself, but starting from the very bottom- what if there’s nothing you like about yourself? I’ve been there, it’s a dark place.

Sure, you can look at your waist and think “yeah, I like that” but try and dig deeper. Think about what it is that sets you apart from other people and truly makes you different. What gives you a different viewpoint to the person next to you, what makes you look different than the person next to you, what makes you walk and talk different, think differently, everything. It’s funny because often the things we think are odd or ‘weird’ about ourselves are exactly what other people love and admire.


 Realise that it’s only up from here. 
J.K. Rowling said that “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

Personally I love this quote and I think it can be applied to confidence as well. If you feel like you have zero confidence, take some comfort in the idea that things can only get better from here on out. At the very least, find confidence in the fact that confidence is coming.


Train your thoughts. 

Negative thoughts really suck (there’s the understatement of the year) but it’s pretty empowering to realise that a thought whether positive or negative is just a thought, and a thought can be changed.
Confidence is hard enough to gain without your brain throwing out insults at you left, right and centre. Every time a negative thought comes into your brain, realise that it’s just a negative thought and try and change it to something more positive. If my brain is saying uplifting things to me my entire day gets better. It may sound corny, but it’s true.


Do things that make you feel good. 

You know that feeling when you do something that you know you’re not very good at (like me with sports) and you start feeling this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach like you just want to run off and hide? Well that there’s probably the opposite of confidence-boosting so if you’re low on self-esteem, find something that you’re good at and let that lift your confidence naturally. It feels good to be good at something, it just does.


Do you have any tips for finding and building confidence?