I’m 25 now. Yeah, so that happened this year. Shit. There’s definitely a lot of things I’ve done in my life that I’m proud of, but I can’t help but feel like I’m halfway to 30 and not where I thought I’d be. Any fellow mid-20-year-olds ever feel the same way?
I think it’s particularly difficult because of a few different things. Like the perfect storm.
For starters, I’m 25 now, but I’ve still got these expectations of myself and my life from when I was what, 10? 11? 12? …8 years old?
When you’re younger you think once you hit certain ages in your life that you’re going to have achieved certain milestones by those times that you’ve set out for yourself. Then you hit those ages and it feels a little anti-climatic.
I thought by the time I was 25 that I would be so ‘grown-up’, a fully fledged adult with all my shit sorted. Yeah, I am an adult (at the very least I made it into adulthood) but I sure as hell don’t feel as old or as ‘adult’ or as wise as I thought I would. Oh yeah, and I sure as hell don’t have my shit sorted either. So goes the battle of dealing with your own pressures and expectations that you put on yourself. Problem #1.
Then you’ve got family expectations. Even if you’ve got the kindest, caring, most loving and supportive family, there’s still this niggling feeling of wondering if people might be disappointed in you. You wonder whether or not family members also subconsciously kind of set goals for you at certain ages in their heads as well. Are you disappointing them? So goes problem #2.
There’s the all-important life lesson that comes and smacks you in the face (and it smacks you HARD in the face) at one point or another. That lesson that your goals don’t come to you in a linear way. That you don’t achieve things in a linear fashion. That you might fail for literally 10 years, 20 years+ but then you could reach your goals. Or you could not. Not everyone does. Some people reach their goals overnight and others take years to achieve the same things, through absolutely nothing else other than…fate? If that’s what you believe in.
The last nail in the coffin so to speak is social media and the drawbacks of the online world. Not only have you got the expectations coming from yourself and possibly your family and friends (even if it’s just perceived expectations). You’ve also got the fact that now we can literally compare ourselves and where we are in life with hundreds of strangers online. Yeah, we know what we see isn’t ‘real’ all the time or it’s constructed, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found out that someone I look up to is either my age or younger. I’m like damn….DAMN. *Cries on the inside*
Now that I’ve hit that 25 year old, midway to 30 milestone, I can’t help but feel like I’ve hit a kind of mid, mid-life crisis.
I haven’t quite hit panic mode 100% but still, I’ve got this impending feeling like I have to kick myself into gear.
It’s a little juxtaposing (wow haven’t used that word since I used to whip it out for essays in Year 12 to feel fancy). You see, I currently feel happy with my life but also, I want to change a lot of things? So yeah, that feels a bit like a mid, mid-life crisis to me.
If you came to this post or my blog today for some kind of an informative or a helpful post, uh…sorry because I don’t think this is going to fill the brief. Kind of like when I spilt my thoughts out in my ‘When Did It Become Normal To Pretend Like Everything Is OK’ post. For my mostly Type A personality these more casual posts are actually a nice departure/break for me.
Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say with this post is that if you’re at the same stage of life as me or at any stage of your life really, you’re not alone. We can all just go through these mini-crises together eh?