Seriously, when did this become normal? When did it become normal practice for us all to go through our lives pretending like everything is ok 99.9% of the time? It’s not. It never is for anyone. Unless you’re living on some cloud made of fairy floss that I just don’t know about, we’re all living on this same planet and we’re all going through shit. For lack of a more eloquent way of phrasing that.
I watched this interview with Sam Smith and I bawled like a small child about 3/4 of the way through it. Something about it was so human and real. It just broke down all the standard, usual (completely archaic, might I add) barriers about what we can and can’t talk about. It broke down the barriers of talking and opening up. Things affect us, what the hell is the point of pretending like they don’t? What is the actual point in trying to make it seem like we are all ok, all of the time?
We know on social media we’re all presenting our best selves, yeah. And sure, maybe it would be a bit of a Debbie downer if the next time you asked someone “how are you?”, if they genuinely responded instead of routinely saying “fine thanks.” Maybe it is more inconvenient. Maybe it is a bit depressing. But you know what, so is life sometimes. There should be no shame involved in expressing that.
I don’t often do posts like this where I just spill out my thoughts on a topic. I’m just seeing around me (what feels like all the time) people putting on this armour to brave the world. The world can be so harsh, so I understand the need for the armour. The thing is, like Sam Smith said in that interview linked above, it is exhausting. It is exhausting to go through life with armour on. It is exhausting to feel like you need to keep quiet about a whole host of issues or something you’re going through, purely so that you don’t “bring down the conversation” or seem out of place in some way. It is exhausting. We’re all spending so much time pretending we’re ok, but…why? It’s not like it’s going to come as a huge shock to people that you’re just human after all.
I just started reading Matt Haig’s ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ and that book just makes me want to write this post more. It actually physically makes me feel ill to think about all the people out there in the world right now (who will probably never read this post, mind you) who are fighting these internal demons and on the exterior? You see nothing.
To friends of mine; send me a text when you’re crying or if you had a shit day. If you fail miserably at something, write or talk about it. If something is eating away inside of you and you feel like you can’t tell anyone, do the opposite instead of keeping it inside.
I’m writing this to myself as much as to anyone else, and I don’t even know if this post is going to make sense. I guess I’m hoping my frustration as I’m writing this post connects with at least one person out there, even if it’s just a tiny tiny bit. Can we all just take a note from Sam Smith’s book please and admit we’re all just working on ourselves and are basically just messes pieced together to resemble humans? It’s okay to not be ok.
It’s OK, to not be ok. You’re not alone. You never were, and you never are.
PS- goes without saying but if anyone needs to share or just needs someone to listen, feel free to drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org